The Passing

Today, I woke up and I wasn't in a lot of pain. It was a nice change from the past few days. JT and I did our own thing. We both needed to be distracted from the loss, so we cleaned. We gave each other space, but talked and listened when needed. We also knew we needed to tell Ella. I told Ella that the baby went to heaven to be with Jesus. She got a sad look on her face, gave me a hug, and then went on to talk about her fish. She has brought it up a few times, but she is doing well with it.
We went to the Doc today for another ultrasound and exam. It looks as though I have already passed the baby. There is a small amount of tissue left and I will pass that in a few days.
It is hard to say how I feel. I know those that have experienced this kind of loss will know. Yesterday morning I woke up pregnant, and today I am not and I have nothing to show for it.
It will take some time for us to heal from this. It is hard when you want something so bad and then it is taken from you. We will wait awhile before trying for another child, we want to cherish this one and not try and replace it.
Having children already has made this hard for the reason I know what it is like to feel those first kicks and to hold a new born. But it has also made it easy, because we have to precious little girls at home that love us with all their hearts. I have cherished every moment today with them. I have taken time to hug them and kiss them and let them know I love them. I thank the Lord for them.
I also want to thank everyone that has taken the time to pray for us or offer kind words to us. I can tell you I feel your prayers. I am a big believer in the power of prayer that is why I have asked for it, again, thank you.