Temptation Won

After much talk about finding out what the baby will be, JT gave into my request to not find out the sex of the baby. Well, let's just say I fell into temptation.
JT was not going to be able to be with me during our ultrasound. He was at a fishing tournament (which we will talk about later). I got to thinking a day before about the baby. Whether I found out then or found out at birth, it would still be a surprise. What about the girls? Maybe they needed to be prepared for whatever was coming...maybe JT did too. So, I had the ultrasound tech write down the gender on a piece of paper. I would never think of finding out without telling JT and then telling him later. That would just be rude! So, I put the paper in a safe place out of view so I would not be tempted. He came home so late that day...around 11pm. I was so tired, but I wanted to stay up til he got home. He told me about his trip and showed me pictures. I asked him if he wanted to see pictures of his baby, and he said yes. I have a picture of the face, a profile, and the fingers. He smiled at them. I then asked him if he wanted to find out what we were having, he looked confused. I told him what I had done. He asked what I wanted to do, because he did want to find out. It was nice to have him willingly go alone with me if that is what I wanted. In all honesty, it is really hard to think straight and go with the "plan" when you have your baby's gender sitting on a piece of paper in front of you. I let him open it, I could tell by his face...it is another girl. I have always said that I didn't care one way or another, but I knew my husband wanted a boy. I mean, what man doesn't really? It is not that he doesn't love his girls or that he doesn't love this one...I think most parents understand those feelings. I am excited. It will be neat to have 3 little girls running around the house. It will be easier, we have everything we need. A little boy would be awesome too, it is new.
This is the way I look at it. I lost a child and to be able to be pregnant and carry the baby, it such a blessing. To care what the baby is just wasn't important to me. I know I am blessed to have either.
We told Ella and Olivia the next morning. They were disappointed, they wanted a brother. It was kind of cute. Ella did ask if we had to get rid of her or Olivia since we were having another girl. Where she comes up with stuff, I will never know. I assured her that no one was leaving.
If somehow the ultrasound tech was wrong, which I don't think he was, he checked twice, I will be just as happy with a boy.
Now, all we need is a name. That may remain a mystery for everyone until the baby is born. We can't decide on one at all. All the names seem to look alike now. I think I am going to take a break from it for awhile. Worse case, we will just take a baby name book with us to the hospital and decide when we meet her.