Tough Times...But I Rejoice

There aren't too many people that know what is really going on in our lives right now except close family and friends.  But with JT's condition that brought him home early from Afghanistan, life has been hard...or just taking some getting use to.
I haven't talked much about it, because I really don't know how to gather my thoughts about this time well enough to put it down.  So, if this is random...please forgive me.
JT's condition is still the same.  He still has the same severe pain and the symptoms that go along with it.  It effects his daily life.  He has the doctors scratching their heads.  He has lived with this for almost 4 months now.  It is frustrating and overwhelming at times.  I may use the word overwhelming a lot during this.
I wish so much that my husband had come home with the rest of his guys with out this injury/illness.  I say injury because new information has come out that it is possible he contracted this from his environment and because 5 other guys have the same thing.  I say illness because it could just be an illness that the doc can fix...if they figure it out.
Because they can't figure it out, he has been on so many different types medicines, ones that make him moody, ones that make him drowsy, ones that just mask the pain.  At one point, he was taking 11 different medicines. 
Also because they can't figure it out, they are a little too eager to say it is a "chronic" condition.  And because of that, our job security is no more.  We don't know what this next year will bring and it is very possible that he will no longer be able to serve in the army.  I am not settling for a "chronic" diagnosis.  Why?  Because they have not done everything they possibly can.
I know I am being vague about exactly what is going on...it is on purpose....to give us a little privacy.
Anyways, life has been overwhelming at times.  Other times it is fine.  I have cried over the kitchen sink.  I have cried over the stove. Come to think of it, I seem to cry when it is time for us to eat. 
With all the doc apts, all the meds, and the strict diet...and with the kids....with the house....with the possible job loss....with the addition of a new one....with the possibility that my husband will have to live with this pain forever...with so many more than I can count thoughts...with no light at the end of the tunnel, life gets overwhelming.  Sometimes, I can't hold it all in.  I have been letting it get the best of me at times.
This morning I was getting ready to take my husband for another colonoscopy to remove a few bad spots.  I started thinking about all these things I mentioned above and I got a little overwhelmed (there is that word again).  I know God has us in His hands and that He will provide for our every need....not want...but need.  So, I reminded myself of that, but I still kept holding on to those overwhelming thoughts.
While I was waiting on JT during the procedure, I opened up an email on my phone.  It was my quickie devotions I get everyday.  The verse that got to me was...
"Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you, but rejoice." 1 Peter 4:12-13
It brought an incredible amount of peace!  Life is not easy and we are not promised it will be.  But God has us in His hands.  He knows our path. 
After reading this the overwhelming feeling of life went away.  I am thankful for that.  I don't know what our future holds...where we will live....where my husband will work....if his pain will be cured.  I don't know anything. 
But I do know that I will rejoice for my God is good!