Let's Talk About My Funk

So, it is no secret that I have been in a funk lately.

Whenever I feel like I am not "normal", I always try to analyze myself.  Why am I feeling this way?  What could have caused this? 

Sometimes, it is as little as being female...you know how we are.

Sometime, it is the lack of sleep....but I have been there...this was a little deeper than sleep.  Although, after a nice long nap, I seem to kick my funk.

Moving was a definite cause of my funk.  It was so stressful!  It shouldn't seem like it would be, right?? I mean, I moved just a couple blocks over.  But everything was packed away.  I had to unpack and put away.  I am cooking in a different kitchen.  The kid's rooms are teeny tiny and completely new to them (especially a baby).  There is no carpet anywhere.  Which sounds lovely, but it is LOUD...and the dog hair is every where.  I much rather vacuum than sweep.  Sweeping never seems to get it all.  Vacuuming may not either, but at least I can't see it all the time.

I tried really hard to see it as a blessing...one story...a chance to go through our things and toss out what was not needed anymore.  But it was hard.  Our whole routine changed.  And I like routine...with a little spontaneity thrown in every now and then.

Then there is the really sad reason for my funk.

If you know me or have been reading my blog for awhile, it shouldn't really be any surprise to you.

It has been 4 years since I lost my little baby.  And yes, it still makes me sad....heart broken.

I always get down this time of year since then...but this year it was worse than normal.  Even when I realized what was going on...I didn't snap out of my funk...I just seem to go deeper.

I prayed...and prayed...and read my Bible. 

A few days ago, I needed to take a nap.  I just wanted a quick power nap.  I have been needing those a lot lately.  But this time, JT just let me sleep.  Sutton Grace cuddled up next to me.  When I woke, I realized I had slept for 3 hours.  I was mad. I had way to much to do to sleep that long.  THEN I realized I felt better...like really better.  

Just like that my funk was gone!  

This afternoon, Sutton jumped up in my arms and wrapped her arms around my neck and held on tight.  

I got teary eyed, missing the little one that is in heaven....and remember how I feel that Sutton has a little of her brother/sister in her.  

Thanks for the prayers.  I am so incredibly blessed.

If you think of me next year right before Thanksgiving...I just ask for prayers.  It is a hard time to get through.  But I know I am not alone, and I have cherished friendships because of losing a child. It is nice to be able to talk to people who understand.