Ok...Here I Go

I am sitting here in my bed and I just finished my bowl of ice cream and listening to the intro on Saturday Night Live and I really need to take a shower, but I am on here. I figured if I just went ahead and started typing inspiration would hit.
Lets start where I last left off...
We had a couple of weeks with JT before he left (yes, he is gone now and for his safety, I have to be very vague about things going on with him currently). It was nice with him around, when he was around. Unfortunately, they worked up until the very last minute before the deployment. We had a deployment ceremony a couple days before they left. They role up the company flag, put it in a sleeve, and they unroll it when they get to their destination. Poor Ella was so confused, she thought he was leaving right then. She cried the whole time. There were news cameras there. I was asked by a news crew to talk about the deployment, so I agreed. I do not like cameras, let me rephrase that, I do not like having my picture taken or being video taped. I was really stepping out of my comfort zone and why I agreed still baffles me. Anyways, that footage didn't air. I don't know why, but it never did. JT and the girls, however, make it to another news station and that did air. Our little family also made it to the front page of the paper. Why was everyone so interested in us? Ella. Like I said earlier, Ella thought her Daddy was leaving right then. She was filmed and photographed clinging to JT's neck while crying.
Then there is the day JT left. It was at the end of the day. I hated it! You spent the whole day trying to avoid the elephant in the room. Deployment. We watched JT pack and we just messed around the house. It was time to take him up to his company. It would still be awhile before he left, so we stayed along with the other families. Ella and Olivia had fun playing with the other kids, and they weren't really aware of what was going on,until it was time to say goodbye. I opted for us to leave before the men got on the buses. I knew I couldn't bare to see him ride off like that. It was heart breaking to see Daddy saying goodbye to his little girls. When he returns, Ella will be 6 almost 7, Olivia will be 4 almost 5 and Sutton Grace will be 18 months almost 2. There is a lot he will miss. I had not cried, and I didn't think I would. I did have tears well up, but no crying. We said our goodbyes and I got in the truck. I waved by to him and drove off. I lost it. I had to stop, because tears and driving in the snow do not mix. That night the girls and I slept in the same bed together. The next morning we went on as normal.
I haven't gotten to talk with him much and that is hard. I miss him so much. It is hard at times, because I want to tell him little things but I can't. I do send him emails a lot during the day and it helps me.
What I am about to say, I have said many times in the past week. It is something that God has made very clear to me over the past few months. I will not worry, because worry is a sin. It is a sin, because I am not trusting in God. And I can honestly say it has made this so much easier. When I have thoughts and I start to worry, God quickly reminds me that He is in control and we are taken care of. What makes this whole deployment so hard is missing my best friend, my husband.
So, *big sigh* here I go, I live in Alaska by myself. Wow. I didn't think that would ever happen. It is amazing where God takes you when you let Him lead.

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Speaking of living in Alaska, I thought we might have an early break up (when all the snow and ice start melting and then we have slush during the day and ice at night). The temps were above freezing for about 2 weeks. It was hot! HAHA I had to turn off my heat in the house because we were sweating. I was trying not to get excited about it, but I could help getting Spring Fever. Then it started snowing again. Then it warmed up again. AND THEN, it snowed for the past 2 days. The snow is pretty when it is falling, but I am over it now. I am ready for the 24 hour sunlight, the green grass and playing outside without having to spend 15 minutes to suit up the kiddos only for one to have to go potty as soon as we are ready to walk out the door.
We will probably miss most of the break up, because we are heading south to visit family soon. It will be nice to feel some humidity and to smell southern air. Of course, we will be going during allergy season, oh boy!